A scabby little chap asked me if he could polish my shoes today on the tube.?

The 50 p yes, the kick, no. Don't y'know that was a Leprechaun? Now he'll bedevil ye for the rest of your natural life - which, if yer a Brit, us Micks will thoroughly enjoy watching. Yer only hope lies in converting and handing over yer firstborn to the fairy folk...